Comments 'Why are you so thin?' or 'You look so heavyyour add huh?' is used as one of the pleasantries in conversation or a form of our attention to others. But is it true that this is a form of attention? Or maybe we're doing body shaming?
BOdy Shaming is the behavior of vilifying the appearance of others, or comparing one's physical condition with others. Not only from others, treat body shaming we can also get from ourselves, namely when we give a negative stamp or comment on our physical appearance.
Impact Body Shaming
body shaming will certainly cause unpleasant feelings to the victim. When you get treatment body shaming, the victim will feel ashamed of his body condition and feel that his body shape is bad so it needs to be repaired.
For example, if the victim feels he is fat, he will do various ways to lose weight, ranging from holding back food, vomiting up food that has been eaten, or using laxatives. These conditions include mental disorders that require further treatment from a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Not only has an impact on victims, actions body shaming can also have an impact on perpetrators. When criticizing other people's appearance, the perpetrator feels better than the victim and this can backfire on him.
When someone judges someone else's body to be fat, he will feel that he is slim and does not need to maintain weight, so that he unconsciously becomes more prone to gaining weight. Or conversely, very worried that he will become fat and turn around to be called people, so that they go on an unhealthy excessive diet.
Tips for Dealing with Treatment Body Shaming
For some people, commenting on the appearance of colleagues or other people is a natural thing, without any intention. However, being the target of such comments is not fun. Here are some ways to reduce feelings of shame, after receiving treatment body shaming:
1. Practice for gratefulself condition
There is always something in us that we should be grateful for, such as high thinking power and creativity, a pleasant personality, talent in a particular field, or health that enables us to live productively.
By focusing on the positive things in ourselves, gratitude will grow, so we can accept and love ourselves.
2. Mrealize and accept lack of self
Being thin, dark skinned, or curly hair is not something negative. So stop making these things create a negative impression on yourself (inner bully), because it will make you feel insecure because of something that is not really important.
If these things can be fixed, then do something to fix them. Use these negative feelings as motivational triggers. But if it can't be fixed, learn to accept it as a part of who you are. Develop other potentials that can cover your shortcomings.
3. Create inner supporters to fightinner bully
Instill self-reinforcing words, such as 'I'm beautiful' or 'I'm sexy'. The more often these words are repeated, the more you will believe them. That way, you won't mind the treatment body shaming that you receive from others on your physical condition.
Remember, what you think of yourself is more important than what other people think of you. Don't let other people's opinions about one little thing about your body stifle the great potential within you.
4. Change your mindset towards yourself
If someone believes his body shape or physical condition is bad, then the information that says otherwise will not be processed by the brain. Therefore, first change your mindset and opinion of yourself.
The more you believe yourself to be bad, the easier it will be to act body shaming have a negative impact on you, and the more difficult it is for you to accept praise or positive words from others.
5. Be selective about messages on social media
The use of social media also affects a person's perception of body shaming. Therefore, choose positive messages on social media, follow accounts that popularize the invitation to accept, respect, and love yourself.
Avoid accounts that emphasize the importance of physical appearance over other qualities. Especially those that contain ridicule or jokes about a person's physical condition.
People who feel ashamed of their body condition tend to hide and avoid appearing in public or interacting with people. This of course will interfere with social life, even work productivity and achievement at school.
When you become a victim body shaming, fortify yourself with confidence and be proud of yourself. That way, ridicule from others will not hurt and make you feel inferior. But if you can't handle it yourself, try to consult a psychologist.
On the other hand, if you often take action body shaming, even if you don't realize it, stop this habit, because the negative impact is not only on other people, but also on yourself.
Sandra Handayani Sutanto, M.Psi, Psychologist.(Child Psychologist)