Having a partner who is always quiet when angry can be confusing. The efforts you make to make the situation as it was often ended in vain. Eits, don't give up yet, okay? Come on, try to face him in the following way.
Fighting in a relationship is normal. To express anger, everyone has a different way, some are grumble, shouting, throwing objects, or even doing positive activities, such as cleaning and pursuing hobbies.
However, not a few people also choose to be silent when they are angry.silent treatment). Silence for a while when angry can indeed make yourself calmer and emotions subside. However, if the silence is carried out for a long period of time, this can actually make matters more complicated.
How to deal with a silent partner when angry
In a relationship, silence in the midst of conflict is usually done as an attitude of surrender to not prolong the problem. But on the other hand, this can also be a form of manipulation and passive-aggressive behavior to control their partner.
People who get this treatment can feel confused, scared, hopeless, not appreciated and loved, low self-esteem, to stress. If it continues to happen, the stress and negative emotions that arise from getting silent treatment can put a person at risk for depression or excessive anxiety, you know.
In addition, silence when angry can also affect the quality of the relationship. Because they are often silent when fighting, the existing problems will not have time to be discussed and will eventually accumulate and become a burden on the minds of each party. This can make the relationship that is lived toxic.
If your partner is always silent when you have a conflict, try to deal with it in the following way:
1. Have a nice talk with your partner
Being ignored for a long time does feel annoying, but don't let yourself get carried away with emotions because of this, OK? Try ok have a nice talk with him.
Say that you feel sad and confused about being treated like this. Explain also that the problem at hand will not be solved, if he just stays silent.
2. Avoid forcing your partner
If you've made a good approach but your partner still doesn't want to talk, he may still need time to calm down and temper his emotions.
In a situation like this, it's best not to force him to speak or make decisions when both of you are at the peak of emotions, okay? Better, find the right moment and rearrange the time again for the two of you to discuss the problems you are experiencing and make peace with sincerity.
3. Don't hesitate to apologize
Sometimes, his anger comes from unconscious mistakes. Try to evaluate yourself to find out what mistakes have been made. If you are wrong, admit your mistake. Then apologize sincerely and tell him that you will try not to do it again.
However, avoid saying sorry, if you didn't make the mistake, yes. Don't let you become a people pleaser which can have a negative impact on your life.
4. Evaluate the relationship between the two of you
When mood your partner has improved, discuss the problem and find a solution. After that, evaluate your relationship. Talk about a good way for the two of you to work things out. Do not let the conflict in this relationship actually harm each other.
5. Divert your attention to other activities
If you feel that your partner's silence is too much for you to humble yourself or blame yourself, it's time for you to shift your attention to something else. Try to stay calm and focus on your daily activities and work.
Remember, however, your happiness is top priority. Don't let conflict with your partner make you frustrated and reduce the quality of your life. Do things that make you calmer and more comfortable, such as exercising, learning new things, or hangout with your friends or family.
If after doing the above methods your partner is still reluctant to talk or this treatment is repeated over and over again to affect the quality of life and relationships between the two of you, it's a good idea to ask a psychologist for help to undergo counseling and get the right advice.
For married couples, this problem can also be overcome with marriage counseling.
