According to the theory, when you are grieving or receiving bad news, everyone will experience 5 phases of grieving, which are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In each person, these phases can be passed in different ways, sequences, and times.
The theory of 5 phases of grieving was first put forward by a psychiatrist named Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. Thanks to this theory, a psychologist or psychiatrist can help guide a person when he is going through a difficult situation in his life.
Feelings of sadness and grief are natural responses when someone experiences a bad event or event, be it the death of a family member, divorce, or when diagnosed with a serious illness, such as cancer or HIV. Although it is normal to experience, in fact this feeling is not always easy to get rid of.
5 Grieving Phases You Need to Know
After experiencing a traumatic event or a bad event, a person will go through the following 5 stages of grieving:
1. Denial phase (denial)
Denial is the first stage of grieving. At this stage, a person tends to doubt or deny that he is experiencing a bad event. For example, a person who has just been diagnosed with a serious illness may think that there is an error in the diagnosis.
This is a natural human response to minimize the emotional or emotional hurt that is being felt. That way, over time, he will begin to be able to face this reality.
2. Anger phase (anger)
After going through the denial phase, someone who is grieving will feel angry and do not accept that he is going through a bad event. It can also make him frustrated, more sensitive, impatient, and changeable mood.
At this stage, he may also start asking questions like “why me?” or “what did I do wrong, that this should happen in my life?”. This anger can be directed at anyone, whether at yourself, others, objects around, or even to God.
3. The bargaining phase (bargaining)
Like a fire that originally blazed and then went out, the angry phase will slowly be replaced. After going through the angry phase, the grieving person will go through the bargaining phase. This is a form of emotional defense mechanism of a person so that he can take back control over his life.
This phase is generally characterized by feelings of guilt, either towards oneself or others. In addition, when they enter this phase, they will also look for ways to prevent bad events from happening in the future.
4. Depression phase (depression)
After attempts to resist and change the harsh reality they are experiencing are unsuccessful, the bereaved person will then feel deeply sad, disappointed, and hopeless. This is part of the normal process of forming emotional wounds.
This phase of depression is generally characterized by feeling tired, crying a lot, having trouble sleeping, losing your appetite or overeating, and not being eager to carry out daily activities.
This phase can be said to be the toughest phase and needs to be watched out for. The reason is, the feeling of grief and emotional pain that is felt can lead to ideas or attempts to commit suicide.
5. Receiving phase (acceptance)
Acceptance is the final stage of the grieving phase. At this stage, a person is able to accept the fact that the bad events he experienced really happened and could not be changed.
Although feelings of sadness, disappointment, and regret may still exist, but at this stage, a person has begun to be able to learn and adjust to living with the new reality and accept it as part of his life journey.
In fact, if the person can think positively, they will use the bitter experience they experienced as a lesson to be able to develop into a better person.
Tips for Rising from Bad Events
Everyone will go through each phase of grieving in their own way and time. You may not experience each of the grieving phases above, or you may even go back and forth from one grieving phase to another. These are all normal things and are part of the healing process.
Well, to help you or those closest to you come to terms with the situation and rise from unpleasant events, try following some of these tips:
- Spend more time with the people closest to you. However, if you want to be alone, you can ask for some time alone until you feel better.
- Avoid harboring deep sorrow alone. Try telling stories or venting with the closest people or people you trust.
- If you find it difficult to talk to other people, try pouring your heart out by keeping a daily journal of your emotions, feelings, dreams, or hopes.
- Manage stress by engaging in activities that are fun and can help you calm down, such as regular exercise, meditation, or prayer.
- Eat a balanced nutritious diet and get enough rest.
- Avoid coping mechanisms unfavorable things, such as consuming alcoholic beverages, using drugs, smoking, or hurting yourself.
Grieving is a part of life that is often unavoidable. However, do not let this happen in a protracted manner.
If you or those closest to you find it difficult to accept the harsh reality after experiencing a bad event, especially if it has caused symptoms of health problems, such as depression, anxiety disorders, insomnia, or psychosomatic disorders, it's a good idea to consult a psychologist or psychiatrist, yes.