Preparation before marriage is not just about the cost of food or where the event will be held. The real preparation is the openness of your relationship with your partner. There are several things that need to be discussed with your partner before marriage, so that later the harmony of the household that you will build is always maintained.
You need to always remember that the key to a harmonious marriage is honest and open communication. The frustration, distrust, and tension that can arise from poor communication with your partner will make you vulnerable to fights.
Topics to Discuss Before Marriage
Some of the following topics you need to discuss with your partner and you need to ask before you get married:
1. Obtain offspring
Some couples want to have children immediately after marriage, but there are also those who want to enjoy the beautiful times together. now, try to discuss when is the right time to add a new member to your family, and how many children you want.
Discuss the worst things, such as if there is infertility. The point is, you both have to be physically and mentally prepared before becoming parents.
2. Career
Talk about who can work, and under what conditions the work can be taken. For example, the location of the office or the hours of entry and return. Also talk about if there is a promotion, but it must take more time.
This topic is very important for women who want to keep working after marriage. Ask your future husband if you still need to work, and what the working hours are so as not to interfere with your duties as a wife in the future.
3. Sex affair
One important aspect that can warm your marriage is sex. Be clear about all the sex-related things you like and don't like. You can find out how to have healthy sex by consulting a doctor.
4. Financial problems
You may not feel comfortable discussing material matters before marriage. Even though it's sensitive to talk about, you are advised to talk about it honestly and openly, because this issue is quite often the cause of disputes in the household.
What is the monthly income and what is the money used for when you are not married are some topics about finance that need to be discussed. Also discuss who will manage the finances in the household, whether you will make savings together or not, or what percentage of the income you will save for the future.
For working women, are you willing to set aside your income to help with household needs, or do you have principles such as “my money is my money”. For men, as the head of the household, you are obliged to provide for your wife. Sometimes, there are still relatives who need your helping hand. Say this so that your future wife understands your financial condition.
5. Division of tasks at home
Men may think that housework should be done by women. However, what if you both work and don't have a household assistant?
Besides being able to trust more because you take care of everything together, not having a household assistant also reduces your expenses. now, you must discuss this topic, for example who is in charge of sweeping, mopping, and later taking care of your little one.
6. Association with the opposite sex
To avoid misunderstandings, you should discuss the boundaries of how to get along with the opposite sex after marriage. The reason is, hanging out with the opposite sex without the partner knowing it can trigger a big fight in the household.
You might consider allowing your partner to be friends with the opposite sex as long as he or she tells you everything they did when they were friends, or introduces you to a friend of the opposite sex. If indeed the relationship is pure friendship, surely nothing will be covered up.
7. Future plans
This topic can be difficult to answer and is still only a prediction. However, discussing this issue is important to know where to take your household. The plan can also motivate you to work harder to make it happen. For example, after five years of marriage, you must have a house.
Remember, marriage is a commitment that must be lived in the long term. So, make sure you live with someone who is truly in line and understands your mindset.
Also, remember that you are about to enter a new member of a large family. Make sure you can adapt and be a good son to your in-laws. Not infrequently, conflicts between annoying daughter-in-law and in-laws can become a complicated household matter.
Do not hesitate to consult a psychologist if you feel that there are problems in the household that are difficult to overcome. Psychologists can help with household problems by providing marriage counseling.
