Sexual fantasies are still taboo to talk about, even to couples. The reason is, sexual fantasies are very personal and seem naughty, so they can cause bad thoughts. In fact, unusual sexual fantasies can sometimes be considered abnormal. Is that true?
Although often considered taboo, almost everyone has sexual fantasies. However, the type of sexual fantasy for each person is not necessarily the same, as well as the frequency of sexual fantasies and the intensity of the urge to perform or realize these fantasies.
Is It Normal To Have Sexual Fantasy And Where Does It Come From?
Sexual fantasies are fantasies about having sex that are usually outside of one's actual experience. This fantasy can arise from one's own imagination, it can also be stimulated by books, movies, photos, conversations, or previous sexual experiences.
From the mundane to the most outlandish, sexual fantasies are normal and not a sign of sexual perversion. On the other hand, sexual fantasies can actually make your sex life and your partner more passionate.
Even though sexual fantasies are normal, that doesn't mean you can arbitrarily make them happen. There are several things you need to consider, including the consent of the partner and the risks. If your partner doesn't want to, you shouldn't force him to do the fantasy, especially if the fantasy is dangerous.
Again, sexual fantasy is a very personal thing, so everyone's choice of sexual fantasy can be different. What you desire in sex may not necessarily be what your partner wants, or may even be considered terrible. This is natural and should be appreciated.
Personality Can Determine A Person's Sexual Fantasy
Types of sexual fantasies can be influenced by the personality of each person. Surveys show that a person tends to have sexual fantasies that match their real personality. For example, a person with an extroverted personality may prefer non-monogamous (more than one partner) sexual fantasies. This is because they like to socialize and hang out with new people.
In contrast to people who have a free personality, they tend to prefer sexual fantasies that require exploring new things in every sexual relationship. This is natural because people with this kind of personality have a very high curiosity.
Types of Sexual Fantasy
There are many types of sexual fantasies, ranging from the common to the extreme. The following are some sexual fantasies that most people often have:
Becoming “The Dominant” or “The Submissive”
Having complete control or being the "Dominant" in sex is a sexual fantasy that many men have. However, not a few women who have this sexual fantasy. Fantasy as "The Dominant" is usually manifested by giving orders to partners or controlling movements in sex.
On the other hand, the fantasy of being the non-dominant party or “The Submissive” in a sexual relationship is also common among both men and women. People who have this fantasy will do or comply with all sexual desires of their partners. The fantasy of being “The Submissive” can make a person feel wanted.
BDSM
BDSM stands for bondage (bond), discipline (obedient), sadism (hurt), and masochism (hurted). This is a fantasy that is also quite common. People who have BDSM fantasies usually crave sexual relations with elements of coercion and physical violence.
This sexual fantasy is manifested by tying a partner and committing acts of violence, such as smothering or hitting, even if it is only pretending. You need to be careful when doing this fantasy so as not to cause injury, both to your partner and to yourself.
Having sex in an unusual place
The fantasy of having sex in an unusual place, such as in the kitchen, in the office, or in the car, can rekindle sexual arousal that recedes after boredom in bed scenarios. This fantasy is natural and it is also important for married couples who have been married for a long time, in order to maintain their sexual arousal.
However, you must remember, not all places are allowed and safe to use for having sex. Even though you may want to have sex in a “dangerous” place, keep in mind the risks and legal repercussions. Do not have sex in public or in places that can be seen by others.
Almost everyone has thought about sexual fantasies and it is very natural. However, if you feel like you think about it too much to the point that it affects your daily activities or relationships with your partner, it's a good idea to consult a psychologist to help control these urges.
