After marriage, establishing a good relationship with your in-laws can be difficult, especially if your in-laws are among those who interfere in your household matters. Then, how? the hell how to deal with annoying in-laws?
When you decide to get married, you certainly know that marriage not only unites you and your husband, but also your two extended families. So, you will also have new parents, namely your in-laws. Not infrequently, the relationship between in-laws and daughter-in-law does not run smoothly.
Basically, problems occur when reality doesn't match expectations. Every mother-in-law certainly has expectations for her daughter-in-law. Most of them are expectations related to their children, from the way she takes care of her children, cooks for her children, to the way she takes care of the house.
A series of ways to deal with annoying in-laws
Not everyone is blessed with a kind, friendly, and loving mother-in-law. Like people in general, there are in-laws who can be uncomfortable when the son-in-law's actions are not in line with his expectations, even though it is conveyed in the form of advice.
If it happens once or twice, of course it's still reasonable. Every parent wants the best for their child, right? You also still have to do your best in being a wife and daughter-in-law. But if it feels like there's nothing else you can do to satisfy your parents-in-law, of course this will be hard.
You can feel burdened, cornered, and eventually harbor negative emotions towards your in-laws. If not handled wisely, a situation like this could end up in enmity between in-laws and daughter-in-law.
In order not to be provoked by emotions that can make your relationship with your in-laws worse, there are several things you can do, namely:
1. Cooperation with husband
The main key to dealing with annoying in-laws is to work with your husband. Make sure your husband always supports every step and decision you take, so you don't feel alone and insecure.
You can tell your husband about how you feel about your in-laws' treatment. Whatever the attitude of your in-laws, it doesn't mean you can blame your husband's parents in front of him, okay? Remember that your husband's feelings as his son must also be guarded.
You also should not pit them against each other, because after all you both still have an obligation to respect your parents and in-laws. If you are still in the same house with your in-laws, you can ask your husband to move to a separate house.
2. Set boundaries and stick to it
When you're married, it's important to discuss with your husband what your in-laws or your parents should or shouldn't interfere with. For example, you will only apply a method of educating children that you both have agreed to, not one that your in-laws agree on.
In addition to setting boundaries, it's also important to do so consistently, so that your parents both understand the decisions you and your husband are making.
3. Accept differences and criticism
Different heads, so what they think is different. The same goes for you and your in-laws. You can't force him to have the same thoughts and perspectives as you.
Respect these differences and take good lessons. However, remember that you are also free to have opinions and decisions that you share with your husband.
4. Communicate in a good way
To avoid disputes or burdens of thought, you should communicate with a cool head everything that you feel is bothering your in-laws, whether it's about differences of opinion or maybe the hurt because of being treated badly.
It's best to first discuss what you want to say with your husband and ask him to accompany you when talking to them. Fighting your in-laws isn't a good thing, but that doesn't mean you have to pretend to be your ideal son-in-law and obey everything they say.
5. Be mature and restrain yourself
Even though your in-laws are very annoying, you are encouraged to be able to restrain yourself and remain mature. If there are conflicting opinions, there is nothing wrong if you discuss them together to find the right solution.
If it turns out that your decision is proven wrong, don't hesitate to apologize to both of them. This way, they will also realize that you are really trying to do your best and are willing to learn.
Dealing with annoying in-laws is not an easy matter. However, don't let that cause your relationship with your in-laws to be bad, okay?
If after applying the tips above, your in-laws are still annoying, even to the point of making you feel depressed or depressed, you should immediately ask a psychologist for help to get the right advice and treatment.
