Hate can not only be directed at others, but also at yourself. Be careful, self-hatred can be bad for mental health and social life, you know. Therefore, identify the signs of self-hatred and how to stop them.
Self-loathing (self-hatred or self-loathing) can be caused by many things, ranging from perfectionism or having too high expectations, not having self-confidence or having self-esteem low, to certain mental disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder.
Not only that, people who have self-hatred may also have experienced a traumatic event, such as physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.
It is normal to experience feelings of anger, shame, disappointment, self-loathing, or other negative feelings when experiencing failure. However, those emotions should only appear for a short time.
If it drags on and is difficult to turn into positive thoughts, self-hatred can be dangerous or become toxic.
These are signs of self-hatred
People who hate themselves will often blame themselves for everything that happens in their lives. Even if the mistake made was unintentional, he would still feel that the mistake he made had ruined everything.
In addition, there are several other signs that indicate that a person has excessive feelings of self-hatred, namely:
- Too focused on the negative or overly pessimistic (Even though you are experiencing good things, your mind will be focused on the bad possibilities that could happen)
- Often compare yourself with others and tend to have low self-esteem
- Not confident
- It's hard to accept compliments from others and think it's just manipulative or insincere
- Always feel like a stranger who is adjusting to his surroundings and feels that other people don't like him
- It's hard to accept criticism or other people's opinions and take it as an insult or attack that is personal
- Often feel jealous of others
- Thinking that every relationship he has with someone else will end badly
- Reluctant to have dreams for fear of failure
How to Stop Hating Yourself
Excessive self-loathing can make it difficult for a person to thrive. Because of these pent-up negative emotions, he may also find it difficult to connect with other people, be it friends, partners, or coworkers.
In addition, this attitude can also increase a person's risk for self-destructive behavior, such as overeating, isolating oneself, smoking, consuming alcoholic beverages, or using illegal drugs. People who hate themselves too much are also prone to feeling suicidal.
So that you can stop hating yourself and avoid harm, do the following:
1. Fight negative thought patterns
Self-hate will continue to appear when you always use a negative thought pattern. When negative thoughts arise, try not to follow them too much because they are not necessarily true.
Instead of constantly blaming yourself, try to think more openly and find solutions so that the cause of these feelings can be resolved.
2. Try to forgive
Learn to be at peace and forgive yourself. Understand that making mistakes is not a sign that you are a failure or that you don't have the ability to succeed.
Remember, no one is perfect in this world. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, including you. Feelings of self-loathing that are left alone can make it difficult for you to develop, you know.
Instead of fixating on life's failures, try to move on and learn from those mistakes, so you don't repeat them in the future.
3. Learn to love yourself
Instead of continuing to hate and judge yourself, let's start learning to love yourself, for example by instilling values body positivity. When your love for yourself has grown, you will be more grateful for everything you have, enjoy the process of life you are living, and feel happier.
Get used to doing it too positiveself-talk to train yourself to get used to seeing things in a positive perspective.
5. Learn to accept compliments
When you get a compliment, don't immediately reject it or feel like you don't deserve it. Say thank you to the person who gave the compliment and then be grateful for the good things you have done. This can be a great way to reward and motivate yourself.
5. Write a diary
Try to write in a diary about the emotions you feel and their causes. From here, you may be able to identify your mistakes and find the right way or strategy to fix them. With this, you can also be trained to form a better mindset.
6. Spend time with people who make you happy
Being trapped in unhealthy relationships can continue to foster negative thoughts. Instead of relying on people who can't bring positivity into your life, try to find a new environment and hang out with people who can respect each other.
Connecting with positive people will help you feel better and your self-hatred will gradually fade away. This can also be done as one form support system which is good for your mental health.
Self-hatred can affect many aspects of everyday life. So, instead of continuing to burden yourself with those feelings, try the ways above so you can start to stop hating yourself and love yourself more.
Also make sure to always apply a healthy lifestyle, so that your physical and mental health is always maintained.
Getting out of this condition does take time and patience. However, don't give up, okay? If you're having trouble and need help dealing with self-hatred, don't hesitate to consult a psychologist.