The presence of younger siblings often makes their older siblings feel less cared for to trigger jealousy or even hatred. So that this doesn't happen, you need to know how to prepare your brother to have a younger sibling, if indeed you are planning to have another child.
If children are under 2 years old, they usually don't understand the meaning of having a sibling. It's different if the child is 2 years old and over. Children at that age may already feel jealous if they see their parents paying attention to other children besides themselves.
However, regardless of age, children need to be notified early on when they will have a sibling. This is important so that he can have plenty of time to imagine how life with his sister will be. This can prevent jealousy or feelings of being abandoned by their parents.
Preparation During Pregnancy
After learning that Mother is positive for her second pregnancy, share this happy news with Sis. Tell him soon he will be a big brother while holding his hand to hold Mother's belly. The goal is to build closeness between the older brother and his younger brother later.
While still pregnant, you can do the following:
- Start changing your affectionate nickname for Sis, for example by calling him 'Big Brother' to grow his sense of maturity.
- Show the development of the mother's stomach to the sister. Teach him as early as possible to always love his sister even though it is still in the stomach.
- Say positive things to Sis, if he asks "What is baby sister doing in Mother's stomach?". No need to answer it seriously, just answer it with, "Now baby sister is smiling because she was kissed by Big Brother" or other positive things.
- When the older brother asks to be invited to play, while the mother's condition does not allow, tell him that the mother is tired. Explain that this is natural and you also feel when you are pregnant with your brother.
During pregnancy, Mother also needs to get used to Sibling to meet other children who are younger than her or see Mother holding another baby. There are several things you can do to implement this, such as:
- Invite your sister to visit a mother's relative or friend's house who has a baby
- Showing photos of Sis when she was a baby and telling how much she enjoyed holding and playing with her
- Inviting the sister when the mother checks the womb to hear the baby's heartbeat
Preparations for the Birth of a Sibling
In the final trimester of pregnancy, you can ask your sister for help to prepare all your sister's needs at birth. This can make him feel part of the family, as well as reduce jealousy.
Here are some things you can apply:
- Invite Si Brother to help give a name to his sister.
- Involve the sister when she has equipment for her sister, such as buying baby clothes according to her choice.
- Invite the older brother to wash clothes or other baby equipment before his sister uses it later after birth.
- Show the older brother's belongings that he no longer uses and will give to his younger brother, so that he feels that he is an important part of the younger sibling's presence.
- If the older brother likes the things his sister buys and thinks they are his, there is no need to forbid him to play with them. Just let him have fun until he forgets by himself.
- Spend lots of quality time with Big Brother.
After Brother's Birth
When the awaited moment arrives, Mother must give extra attention to Sis. Even though you still experience pain after giving birth, as much as possible show a happy face when Sis comes and do the following things:
- Hug the Big Brother tightly while saying, "Now you have become a big brother." You can also give him a gift, such as a shirt that says I Love My Sister or I Love My Brother. Say that the gift was a gift from his sister.
- Try to keep an eye on your brother by always involving him in every activity. For example, take your older sibling to take a picture together or hold a photo session of your older sibling with his new sibling.
- Give understanding to the older sibling that the newborn baby can't play with him yet, but the older sibling can kiss his toes or hold his hand.
- If the older sibling begins to seek attention by being rude to the younger sibling, the mother can punish him and say that his behavior was not good. As much as possible, do not leave the brother alone with his sister.
Preparing a child to have a sibling is not easy. It is undeniable that Mother will probably be busy with her newborn baby. Therefore, ask for the help of other family members to also devote attention and affection to Sis.
If the older sibling has not been able to understand the situation, the mother can advise him such as, "Sister should not be jealous or envious if you see Mother or Father giving more attention to the younger brother. Baby's little brother needs more attention because he can't do anything on his own yet. Unlike Big Brother who has now grown up.”
Even though you need to make her feel like a more mature sister, don't forget the fact that she's still a child too. Always invite Sis to help Mother when taking care of baby sister, so she doesn't feel neglected. In addition, keep giving enough praise and attention to Sis.
If you feel that there is a drastic difference in attitude to your older sibling since the birth of your younger sibling, for example having trouble sleeping, refusing to eat, or being lonely, don't hesitate to ask a psychologist or doctor for advice.
