Brothers and sisters find it difficult to get along and often fight, it might make Mom and Dad dizzy. However, don't worry. There's actually a simple reason to understand the relationship as well as an easy way to overcome it.
Sibling disputes are quite common. Even so, that doesn't mean Mom and Dad can keep this quiet. If the fight continues to be left unchecked, the impact will be bad on their relationship in the future.
Possible Causes of Sibling Difficulty Getting Along
Siblings can be your closest friends, but they can also be your biggest enemies. This relationship can be influenced by many factors, be it life events, genetic factors, parental treatment, or experiences outside the family environment.
There are several common reasons that make siblings difficult to get along and end up fighting often, including:
Comparison between children
Research has shown that sibling relationships can deteriorate if they are often compared. For example, who crawls first, who is smarter, who is accepted into a top school, or who is better at sports.
Change of perspective
Changes in children's perspectives, especially older children, can also make it difficult for siblings to get along. For example, a child who has just started school will learn about equality, so he will be annoyed if he sees his younger sibling getting more attention.
Unfair treatment of parents can also trigger jealousy between siblings, so that in the end they find it difficult to get along and often fight.
For example, a brother or sister will feel unfairly treated if their parents only give toys to one of them. Older children can also get angry if they are not allowed to go to a friend's house to play because they have to accompany their younger siblings.
In addition, the personality of each child also affects the relationship between siblings. For example, the personality of an older brother who tends to be stubborn while his younger brother is more quiet or vice versa.
Tips for Siblings to Always Get along
How parents behave with each child greatly affects how well the siblings get along. As parents, mothers and fathers must from an early age apply good and fair parenting for both brother and sister.
This is because at the age of 1 year, children can already understand the difference in how their parents treat them and their siblings. At the age of 1.5 years, children already know how to love and hurt their siblings. The more unfair the parents are, the more children can hurt their siblings.
Therefore, here are some tips that Mom and Dad can do to help siblings get along better:
1. Bpay special attention to each child
If the brother and sister spend most of the day together, make time for them to play individually, for example with neighbors of the same age or with friends in their class.
Moms and Dads also need to spend time with each other. For example, after accompanying the younger sibling to play, the mother also has to take the time to play with the older sibling.
2. Hindari favors one of the children
Do not favor one child, even though under certain conditions, one is indeed better than the other. It is highly recommended to avoid saying, "Why can't you be calm like your brother?" Sentences like this will only exacerbate the feelings of irritation he might feel towards his brother, as well as his mother or father.
3. Don't force children to share
Sharing is good, but it is also important to make Si Brother or Si Sibling aware of the concept of ownership and responsibility for the things they own. Therefore, don't force one of them to share everything. Let there be some items that he should only use alone.
4. Bpractice compromise when children fight
Separate the two fighting children so they can calm down. After that, teach them to compromise and negotiate. Give each child the opportunity to explain each other's reasons and points of view, so that they feel they are being treated fairly.
5. Apply the same rules
Set the same rules that apply to Brother and Sister, whether it's watching TV, not hitting, and not destroying each other's things.
Invite them to determine the rules and punishments they must live if they violate them. Don't forget to praise them when they obey the rules well.
6. Be a role model for children
Children will learn to handle conflict well if they see their parents are not aggressive and still respect each other even though they are in conflict. On the other hand, if they see their parents saying loud words or slamming the door when they are angry, children can imitate this when they are angry.
Quarrels and rivalries between brothers and sisters are actually normal. This can actually be an opportunity for them to learn to resolve conflicts. Of course, the role of parents is very big here.
However, if the quarrel between the older brother and the younger sibling becomes dangerous, let alone causes health or psychological problems for one or both of them, mother and father need to take firmer action.
If Mom and Dad's advice or treatment is not heard or followed by them, so that Mom and Dad are confused about what else to do, consult a child psychologist to find the right solution.