As a parent, you may feel disappointed or even angry when you learn that your child is lying. However, it is important for parents to know first the cause of the child's lying so that they can react wisely.
When you find out your child is lying, there's no need to rush to consider yourself a failure as a parent. The reason is, lying is one of the things that children often learn as they grow and develop.
Children will usually start to know about lying at the age of 3 years. At this age, children begin to realize that their parents are not necessarily able to guess everything that they think, so they assume there are things that can be done without their parents knowing.
Entering the age of 4-6 years, children may be more adept at lying. They can already show certain facial expressions and tone of voice to convey their lies.
As they get older, children may be able to lie when asked about various things, ranging from things related to lessons or activities at school, homework, teachers, to friends.
Reasons That Make Children Lie
Not everything that makes a child lie is a bad thing. Sometimes, children can lie because they can't tell what's true and what's not.
In addition, children may also lie for the following reasons:
1. Having too much imagination power
Young children tend to have high imaginations. Sometimes, this can make it difficult for children to distinguish between what is reality and what is a fantasy.
Children can also say things out loud that are actually only their imaginations. For example, your little one says that there is a monster that has ruffled his room.
2. Feeling afraid of being punished
Sometimes, children will choose to lie for fear of making their parents angry or emotional. This is done as an effort so that children do not get punished for their mistakes.
3. Avoiding a job or obligation
Children may lie by pretending to be sick or sleepy when they are lazy to do something like schoolwork or cleaning their room.
4. Attention seeking
Everyone is certainly happy when praised or noticed, and children are no exception. This can lead your child to look for any way to get others to compliment or pay attention, including lying.
For example, a child makes up a story by telling his friends that he has got a new, expensive toy because he often helps his parents. This he did to look cool in the eyes of his friends.
5. Trying to get something they want
Children often lie to get something they want. For example, when children want to rush to play, they may lie by saying they have finished their homework.
6. Fear of disappointing parents
When children are not able to meet the demands of parents who are too high, they may lie to make their parents happy.
For example, when children get bad grades in school, they will lie to their parents by saying they are doing well. They may do this because they are afraid that their parents will be disappointed or angry.
7. Having emotional problems
It's normal for children to lie occasionally, as long as it doesn't have a harmful impact on themselves or others. However, in certain cases, children may often lie because they have emotional problems, for example bully or depression.
This can be seen from his changed behavior and it looks as if he is hiding his feelings or problems he is facing.
Whatever the reason, lying is a bad behavior that children should avoid from an early age. Every parent or child caretaker needs to educate children well so that he does not often do these bad habits.
Tips to Stop Children's Habits of Lying
Children aged 5-10 years is a good time for parents to explain to children about the difference between lies and honesty and the pros and cons. Parents should make their children realize that lying is a bad habit and that it will get them into trouble later.
As a parent, you are certainly worried and don't want your little one to keep lying. Therefore, there are several ways that can be done to stop a child's habit of lying, namely:
Respond in a different way
If your child is talking about something that he or she didn't really experience, parents can respond with a non-judgmental question. This can encourage children to admit what they really feel or experience.
However, if your child is lying to cover up his mistakes, encourage him to admit his mistakes and give praise when he is telling the truth. However, parents should not immediately scold their children when they make a mistake, for example when spilling a drink on the floor.
If the child lies because he wants to be considered good or to get praise, parents can direct the child to speak according to the actual situation. Explain that he doesn't have to be the best to get compliments and just enough to be himself.
Be a good example for children
It is no less important is to emphasize the value of honesty in the family. Parents can set an example of honest behavior and don't be shy about admitting mistakes and apologizing with clear reasons for making mistakes.
Give your child a warning if he is lying
Parents can also provide rules and boundaries about what behavior is acceptable and what is not. When a child lies, explain what the consequences are, so that the child does not repeat it. However, avoid corporal punishment, yes!
Avoid being called a 'liar'
Also, avoid labeling your child a 'liar' or 'liar'. This will only make him lie more or even traumatize him. Instead, give praise or sweet words for him when the child says the honest thing. This can motivate him to continue to behave honestly.
Parents need to first determine what causes their children to lie so that they can react wisely and solve the problem. That way, children can more easily stop the habit of lying.
If the parents have tried various ways but the child still often lies, try to consult a psychologist. In some cases, children may become more likely to lie because they have certain psychological disorders.
