Getting to Know Demisexuals, Sexual Attraction due to Emotional Bonding

Demisexual is a sexual orientation when a person feels attracted to the person with whom he or she is emotionally attached. This means that a demisexual can only feel sexual arousal after he knows someone so well that his emotional side is involved.

A person who has a demisexual sexual orientation generally cannot feel love at first sight. It takes time for demisexuals to be able to form a close relationship with someone. After that, they can only feel the sexual urge to the person.

Uniquely, the emotional bond does not have to be in the form of feelings of love or a romantic relationship like dating, but can also be in a friendly relationship.

Demisexual Characteristics

At first glance, demisexuals seem like something common. You might think that in fact, many people have sex with people they are emotionally attached to or close to.

However, even if you have such preferences, it doesn't necessarily make you a demisexual.

As a simple example, people who are not demisexuals may be sexually attracted to famous artists who are handsome or beautiful and sexy, making them their sexual fantasies.

A demisexually oriented person cannot do that. This is because they do not recognize or feel a close emotional bond just by looking at their physical appearance.

Others may feel an emotional bond after intercourse, but a demisexual must feel a strong connection before having sex.

A demisexual is also often considered asexual because it appears that he is not interested in sex. In fact, they don't want to have sex not because they don't have sex at all, but because they don't have an emotional attachment to other people.

Demisexual Signs

People who have a demisexual sexual orientation will exhibit the following characteristics:

  • Rarely or difficult to feel sexual attraction to people you have just seen, strangers, or just met.
  • Can only feel sexual attraction to someone who is considered close, such as a close friend, boyfriend, husband, or wife.
  • The level of emotional connection with someone affects their level of sexual attraction. The closer the emotional bond, the higher the chances of having sex with the person.
  • Not passionate and not interested in imagining having sex with someone you don't know well, even if the person is beautiful or handsome and has a pleasant personality.

Demisexual sex orientation can be owned by any gender and other sexual orientations, whether heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, or pansexual.

For demisexuals, emotional closeness has a more important meaning than a relationship that is only concerned with sex alone. However, that does not mean that they do not enjoy sexual relations.

The term sexual orientation is still evolving and is sometimes debated. There are people who think that sexual orientation needs to be emphasized as part of their identity, but there are also many people who don't really think about that identity.

If you have questions about demisexuals or would like a consultation about your sexual orientation, don't hesitate to talk to a psychologist.