Since childhood, women are often taught by their family or their surroundings to always be kind, sweet, or gentle. This is not wrong. However, if everything starts to feel like a burden, this may be a sign that you are experiencing good girl syndrome.
Good girl syndrome is an attitude when a woman forces herself to always be kind and pleasing to others, without thinking about her feelings or even her own rights. This attitude makes him inclined to avoid criticism, conflict, rejection, and blame.
Being a kind woman is certainly a commendable attitude. However, if it is done with compulsion to sacrifice feelings and harm yourself, this attitude is not worth maintaining.
Characteristic features Good Girl Syndrome
In general, attitude good girl syndrome together with people pleaser. Both of them try to do whatever it takes to not disappoint others. They also tend to be obedient and more silent for fear that their words will hurt others.
Here are the features good girl syndrome what you need to know:
- It's hard to say "no" and express what you want
- Fear of making other people sad or upset
- Feeling compelled to excel
- Forced to do good things to please others and pretend to be happy
- Very obedient to the rules, even if it's a small unimportant rule
How to Get Rid of Good Girl Syndrome
Named good girl syndrome because this attitude is commonly experienced by women. Girls tend to mature faster emotionally so they are more serious about instilling their parents' advice to be good children. The possibility of this happening will be even greater if the parenting style includes authoritarian.
Instilling values that have been started since childhood sometimes makes some women feel they have to be perfect and as much as possible not to get negative responses from others. In fact, in fact whatever you do should be based on your decisions and for your own good, not others.
Good girl syndrome it's a condition that usually takes root. However, it is never too late to break free from this attitude. Here are ways you can do to be free from good girl syndrome:
1. Be assertive
Cultivate assertiveness in yourself. This attitude is the ability to communicate in a firm and honest way, but still maintain the feelings of others. With this attitude, you will be more appreciated and not continue to be used by others.
Try to be brave to express your opinion. Say "no" if you are asked to do something that could harm you. Also give a good reason why you don't want to do it.
2. Avoid feeling guilty
Don't feel guilty when you have to refuse requests from others. Your life is not just to please other people. So, as long as you have an honest and reasonable reason, there's no need to feel guilty, let alone to blame yourself, okay.
3. Build self-confidence
Instead of continuing to do everything to make other people happy, you better hone your skills to be more confident. Learn a new skill or take up a new hobby that you've always wanted to try, such as knitting, mountain climbing, or solo travel.
That way, you will focus more on your strengths than your weaknesses. You will also feel more confident, especially when other people see you dare to decide to do what you love and pursue it.
4. Love yourself
When you succeed in loving yourself, you will feel happier and more enjoy every process of life that you live. Don't forget to always be grateful for everything you have, okay?
If you feel you are experiencing good girl syndrome, apply the methods above to stop this attitude. Helping others is a good thing, but remember that you don't live to live up to other people's expectations, but to fulfill your own dreams and be happy.
Try to find your own happiness and desires. If you find it difficult to do so, you can consult a psychologist for advice and guidance to stop being people pleaser and learn to love yourself.