Even though you are a parent, that doesn't mean whatever you want your baby to do. you know. If you often demand and want to be heard by children, it could be a sign that you are a toxic parents.
Unhealthy relationship or toxic relationship not only can occur between friends and the environment, but also between parents and children. In the world of psychology, parents who have an unhealthy relationship with their children are referred to as toxic parents.
Parenting toxic parents usually always puts their wishes first, regulates children to behave according to their wishes, does not think about and respects children's feelings or opinions, and does not view children as someone who has the right to their own life.
These are Characteristics Toxic Parents
Parents should be the most comfortable place for children. However, for children with toxic parents, parents are a source of problems that cause them fear and trauma.
Usually toxic parents will use the excuse “we know what is best for you”. On the other hand, toxic parents very rarely or even reluctant to say thank you or appreciate the actions of their children.
Para toxic parents may not realize that what they are doing is wrong. now, are you included toxic parents? Come on, know the following characteristics:
1. Can't control emotions and gets angry easily
Toxic parent very irritable and express emotions in children. They tend to exaggerate every problem that exists, even though it is actually a trivial matter. Toxic parents also will not hesitate to scold or even berate the child in front of many people.
2. Want to always control the child
Parents of this type will not give their children personal space to make their own decisions, because they think that everything that comes from their children is wrong.
They feel that what they advise their children is always right. That is why everything about children will be controlled directly by them, even until the baby has grown up.
3. Frequent physical or verbal abuse of children
No parent has the right to abuse their child. However, this is often done by toxic parents. Physical violence, such as hitting, slapping, or pinching, or verbal violence, such as bad calls and insults, can become daily food for children with toxic parents.
4. Feeling competitive with children
Parents should play a role in supporting and encouraging their children. However, the toxic parents don't do this. They actually tend to like to embarrass children, making children become down, and feel unhappy when the child is happy.
Not all of the above characteristics are owned by toxic parents, but just one behavior can make parents as toxic parents. Remember, each of the above characteristics, no matter how mild they are, can leave painful and difficult to heal wounds on a child's soul, even into adulthood.
Behavior toxic parents may stem from the same parenting style in the past. So if you feel you have the characteristics above, there is a possibility that you also have trauma like the one your child is feeling now. It also means children are more likely to repeat this behavior to their children in the future.
You probably want the best for your baby. But if you already know how the pain is treated by toxic parents, You must try to be the breaker of this unhealthy link for the next generation in your family.
It's never too late to change. Try slowly to forgive the past with your parents. After that, put your ego down, start listening to what your child has to say, and respect him.
If this is considered difficult to do, do not be ashamed to consult a psychologist. Rather, this is a wise and good action, not only for your child, but for yourself as well.
