The presence of a baby can bring happiness to married couples. But sometimes, busy taking care of the little one makes couples forget to maintain the harmony of their household. In fact, this is important to do so that all the obstacles that must be faced in raising children can be passed more easily.
After the baby is born, many couples complain about the emergence of various conflicts in the household. Complaints vary, ranging from husband acting arbitrarily, lack of mutual understanding, to sexual relations that are increasingly rare.
Possible Changes
Domestic life is not always smooth, especially when you have children because there will be more demands that must be met. Changes that couples often complain about after having a baby include:
1. Diminished attention
Caring for a newborn takes a lot of time, energy and attention. This can also eventually lead to a lack of attention to your partner. If previously a wife can give full attention to her husband, then after the baby is born attention can be reduced.
This problem is sometimes not always fully understood by the couple, so many husbands think that his wife is not paying attention to him.
2. Sex is often forgotten
Postpartum sex is generally recommended around 6 weeks postpartum. However, not all women feel ready to do it because they are still traumatized by the pain or feel tired of taking care of the baby. If not communicated properly, this can cause a couple's intimacy to be reduced.
3. It's hard to have time alone
When you don't have a baby, husband and wife can easily spend time together. However, this will be more difficult after having children because most of the time is taken up taking care of the needs of the Little One.
4. Finances are not well managed
Many women decide to stop working to take care of their children so that their only income comes from their husbands. This can trigger stress and complaints because they are considered inadequate to meet the needs of the family, especially after having a baby.
Tips for Maintaining Harmony of Husband and Wife
Shifting your role as a parent may make your responsibilities increase. But don't let all this busyness make the husband and wife relationship fall apart.
Therefore, here are some things that can be done to maintain a harmonious husband and wife relationship after having a baby:
1. Take time to talk
No matter how tired you are, always try to take the time to tell how you feel today, as well as what your partner is going through. Even if it's only 5 minutes a day, it's still better than nothing.
2. Shows concern
Talking about children is fun, but that doesn't mean there aren't other things to talk about. So, try to discuss something else so that you can pay attention to your partner.
3. Maintain intimacy
Keep up the good intimacy. The trick is actually not difficult, just give hugs and kisses every day, both when the couple wants to go to work or before going to bed together.
4. Talking about the feelings you feel
If you find a problem, don't say it in anger. It may not be easy, but try to say it in a softer way.
5. Make time to be alone
Try to make time one day a week, spending time alone, like a date on a weekend night for example. Regarding children, you don't need to worry, you can temporarily entrust them to a trusted caregiver or family. Remember, you still have to maintain intimacy even though you already have children.
6. Develop a financial plan
Arrange your financial plans together, even consulting a financial planner is recommended. Couples need to revisit what things are priorities so that finances remain stable.
For wives who do not work, open a small business at home, or husbands can look for extra work to supplement their income. Money is often a problem, but don't let it ruin a husband and wife relationship.
The husband and wife relationship will indeed change after having children, but make these changes into things that can strengthen the relationship. Indeed this is not an easy thing, but if faced together, everything will feel lighter, including in terms of taking care of children together.
