Jealousy can happen to anyone, whether it's a friend or a partner. The emergence of this jealousy is usually triggered by several things, ranging from fear of loss, envy, sadness, to anger.
According to one psychologist, jealousy likely reflects how you view yourself. It can also show how confident someone is in their identity. Jealousy may also appear as an accumulation of discomfort and worry that comes from a relationship.
Discomfort in a relationship can be the result of your partner's words or actions toward you. On the other hand, worry can be formed because of the presence of other people in your relationship with your partner.
Another thing that can trigger jealousy is a lack of time or attention in a relationship. In other words, jealousy comes when there is a concern that your partner will turn to someone else.
Not only experienced by couples who are dating or married, feelings of jealousy can also appear in people who are in a relationship friends with benefits.This feeling is also more often felt by people who have obsessive love disorder.
The Bad Effects of Jealousy in Your Life
Jealousy in a relationship between partners is actually a natural and normal reaction as a form of caring for a partner.
Jealousy within reasonable limits can even be one of the strengthening relationships. However, it will be a problem if this jealousy cannot be contained, interfere with daily life and activities, or even make a person unable to think rationally and do extreme things because of jealousy.
When that happens, you have to be careful, because feelings of jealousy can lead someone to act outside the normal limits, such as sexual harassment and violence. Actions based on jealousy often destroy the happiness that has been painstakingly built.
Another bad effect of jealousy is the possibility that it can turn into feelings of possessiveness, distrust, and low self-esteem. In fact, most sources of jealousy are actually not as scary as feared. However, because they are not managed properly, what happens next is to torture and berate themselves, and tend to be dissatisfied with themselves. The scary thing is that a person can suffer from excessive anxiety as a result of these kinds of things.
Extinguish the Fire of Jealousy in the Following Ways
Since it has a detrimental effect on your happiness, jealousy should be dealt with immediately. Some of the things below can be done to reduce jealousy:
- Understand the meaning of jealousy and envyTo quell jealousy, start by understanding that these feelings are natural and normal. Admit that you are indeed jealous or envious and that it is a problem that you create yourself because of a momentary emotion. Thus, try not to take it out on others.
- Understand the factsMost feelings of jealousy arise because it is only based on suspicion. Therefore, try to know the facts really so that feelings of jealousy do not continue to burn your own happiness. If this is aimed at your partner, find out if there really is a third person or if it's just your fear.
- Face it with a cool head and objectiveWhen the fire of jealousy burns your emotions, it doesn't mean it's good to act and make rash decisions. Face the problem with a cool and objective head, talk about the cause of the jealousy and ask for the honesty of your partner.
- Don't suspect your partner too muchIf you don't want your life to be ruined by jealousy, then realize that it will only lead to misery. Never be tempted to spy on your partner and berate people who are considered to be ruining your relationship. Also avoid getting caught up in these feelings that you think are unfair. If these detrimental things are done, then be prepared to live in adversity.
- Communication is keyTo extinguish the fire of jealousy, communication can be key. Speak honestly with your partner about your feelings and what triggers them. Establishing good communication will also open a discussion about your desires and how your partner treats you.
While jealousy is natural and can often be strong and uncontrollable, that doesn't mean you have to suffer from it. Through open communication efforts and constantly improving the quality of ourselves, this can make us rise so that we are not drowned by a pool of jealousy or envy.
If it's difficult to find a bright spot and a solution, it's a good idea for you and your partner to go to counseling to get direction and guidance from a psychologist, so that annoying feelings of jealousy don't ruin your relationship.