Divorce is often seen as a way out ofvariety problem household. Some people choosepdivorce for meresolve conflicts in the household, but forget that Divorce can also have a negative impact on child.
Divorce parents can leave scars in the minds of children. In fact, the injuries suffered by children may continue to be carried into adulthood. The impact that may occur on each child can be different, depending on the age of the child at the time the parents divorced, the condition of the divorce, and the personality of the child.
Therefore, before deciding to divorce, there is nothing wrong for Mother and Father to try to repair the relationship again.
Things to Doweigh Sbefore Divorce
Divorce can cause children to experience a decline in learning abilities and feel unfamiliar with their parents when they are adults. Some children whose parents divorced when they were 5 years old or younger, do not feel a special bond with their parents, or feel uncomfortable around them.
Not only that, children whose parents are divorced will generally feel mixed emotions, between shock, sadness, anxiety, anger or confusion. Some children are also more at risk of having problems socializing. Not infrequently children will feel inferior and envious of other children who have complete families, so that he becomes quiet, prefers to be alone, and is reluctant to interact with other people. In fact, lack of self-confidence can trap you in unhealthy relationships, for example dependent relationship.
Help Children Through Hard Times Parental Divorce
Of course, no couple expects a divorce. However, circumstances may force a married couple to take the path of divorce. In this condition, not only husband and wife need help, but also their children.
If Mom and Dad are facing a difficult situation like this, do the following ways to keep your little one feeling:
- Talk to the child properly
Convey the reasons for the divorce calmly, even though not all reasons need to be told to the child. Give understanding to the child that he will still get the love of both parents. If the child is still too young to understand this, give a simple understanding, for example Mom and Dad have to live in different houses so they don't fight all the time.
- Understand and listen feeling child
When parents decide to divorce, children can feel confused, some even feel guilty, or feel that parents should understand them better. Mom and Dad should try to put aside the problems at hand, and start listening to your little one carefully, then give a specific response to what he feels.
- Avoid conflict with partner in front of children
Divorce has left scars in the hearts of children. So, don't let the pressure he experiences get heavier by arguing or fighting in front of him. Avoid this as much as possible because it can increase stress on the child.
- Don't disturb your child's routine
Divorce generally means living apart. It is recommended to minimize the things that can interfere with the child's routine. For example, often changing places so that children need to change schools.
- Fix relationshipwith child
Pain will heal through feeling understood and loved. Say sorry to your child for what happened. In addition, as much as possible Mother and Father remain involved in the life of the Little One, so that he does not feel that he has lost the attention of his parents.
Avoid making mistakes that can worsen the child's condition, such as complaining to the child. Do not make children as intermediaries or messengers, let alone as an outlet. This can make the child hate one party. In addition, try not to enter into a new relationship before the child really understands and can accept this situation.
However, divorce will still leave scars and be a bad event, both for children and parents. Do not let the child feel the effects of the worse condition. Mom and Dad can do the ways above to help your little one through difficult times due to divorce. Don't hesitate to consult a psychologist if you, your father, or your child need professional help.