The end of a love relationship can indeed leave deep wounds. In order to avoid the sadness of a breakup, some people may choose to have a romantic relationship with a new person. This relationship is usually referred to as rebound relationship.
rebound relationship is a relationship that exists when you just broke up or not move on completely from the pair in the past. Relationships like this run the risk of becoming an outlet and end quickly. This is because rebound relationship tend not on the basis of love.
These Causes and Characteristics Rebound Relationship
The fear of living life alone without a partner, not used to feeling lonely, needing someone who is always by your side, and the desire to quickly forget the past with your ex, can be the cause of you being stuck in a relationship. rebound relationship.
You may not notice when you're in rebound relationship. now, there are several distinctive features of rebound relationship, that is:
1. Relationships are not serious
Main features rebound relationship is the absence of a clear seriousness and commitment in it. This generally happens because rebound relationship is only an outlet for disappointment due to the failure of a previous relationship. Unconsciously, you position your new lover as a runaway.
When you are in this relationship, you have no desire to take this relationship to a more serious level, namely marriage. You just seem to be playing for a short time, without wanting to build a household and become a married couple.
2. Often talk about ex-lover
If you're still thinking about your ex-lover, still monitoring his social media, and even often comparing him to your new partner, it means you haven't move on fully.
No one is comfortable listening to their partner discuss their ex-lover, you know. If the image of your ex continues to haunt your mind, it could be a sign that you still love him and have not been able to start a new relationship with someone else.
3. Not open and honest with each other
A healthy relationship will be built when you and your partner are always honest, open, and trusting each other. Isn't your partner someone who deserves to be the place to pour your heart no matter what the problem is? Openness and honesty are 2 things that are natural for you to do when you are in a relationship with someone.
At the beginning of this relationship, you and your partner should explore each other's nature, not keep it a secret. If you don't trust your partner and keep some things from him or her, this relationship may not last long.
4. Call when you need it
How often do you call your partner and ask them out on a date? If it's very rare and you're too indifferent, it could be that the relationship you're currently in is rebound relationship.
Normally, couples who are just in a romantic relationship will often meet, communicate, and date. But if this isn't the case for you, chances are you're not truly in love with your current boyfriend.
5. Don't introduce your lover to your friends
When you are in love with someone, you should introduce them to your closest friends. However, if you feel shy or refuse to introduce him to your friends and surroundings, this is usually a sign that you don't think he is important and you don't want everyone to know you are dating.
6. Want to show off your new lover with your ex
People who are entangled in rebound relationship Usually they have not fully recovered from the pain of previous relationship failures. If you feel deep pain after a breakup, it's possible that you want to return those feelings to your ex. you know.
One way is to show off your new lover through social media or deliberately introduce him in front of his ex or close friends.
Adverse Impact Rebound Relationship for Yourself and Your Partner
It's natural that after a breakup you feel very depressed, disappointed, and angry. However, immediately establishing a relationship with a new person is not the right solution, especially if the above characteristics occur in your relationship with your new lover, perhaps.
A study even revealed that most rebound relationship Instead, it has a negative impact on yourself and also on your new partner. The following is a possible impact on you and your new lover:
Impact on yourself
If including people who are looking for an escape with rebound relationship, you tend to be more prone to:
- Experiencing dependence on someone else, who in this case is your new lover, makes you less independent.
- Feeling overconfident or narcissistic, which can result in reduced empathy for your new lover or others around you.
- Holding on to anger and disappointment, which is unconsciously vented to a new lover
Impact on new lover
Meanwhile, someone involved in rebound relationship and realizing that he or she is a fugitive will be more prone to:
- Fear of rejection, failure, trust, and abandonment.
- Feeling worthless.
- Feel the love one sided.
- Loss of confidence.
Besides, the relationship rebound relationship can also make lovers mutually manipulate each other. For example, your new boyfriend may feel sorry for you, so he will do his best to help you get over your ex and do whatever it takes so you don't feel sad because he loves you so much.
You can also feel guilty with your feelings that are still fixated on your ex, so you try to pay for that mistake by complying with all kinds of demands from your new lover so that he doesn't feel seconded.
It's true, not all rebound relationship is a bad thing. In fact, this relationship can be an opportunity for a heartbroken person to be able to love someone new who wants to love him sincerely. However, rebound relationship can only succeed if it is based on mutual trust and mutual respect.
Relationships based on negative feelings, such as jealousy, disappointment, and anger, as happens to most people rebound relationships, unhealthy to live and can harm both parties who live it.
Instead of building a romantic relationship like a fairy tale to be able to move on, you could just be hurt again. What's worse, you can be disappointed with yourself for hurting someone, then traumatized to open or build new relationships with other people.
So, before you actually move on and heal from previous wounds, it helps you fix your feelings until you feel ready to love and commit to new people.
If it feels very difficult to forget your ex, there's nothing wrong with consulting a psychologist to get the right solution to the problems in you or your love relationship.
