About Gaslighting and its Signs and How to Deal with It

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation in a relationship that makes the victim always feel guilty and doubt himself. This condition can have serious physical and psychological impacts on the victim. Come on, recognize the signs gaslighting so you don't get caught up in this toxic relationship.

Term gaslighting comes from a 1938 film called Gaslight. The film tells the story of a husband who often manipulates and tortures and convinces his wife that she has lost her sanity or is insane.

This act of manipulation makes the perpetrator able to control and control the victim, both emotionally and in action. As a result, the victim will always question himself and always feel guilty.

Gaslighting is a form of toxic relationship that can happen in a relationship. Although it is more common in marital relationships, this condition can also occur in friendships, family circles, or the scope of work.

Gaslighting Signs

There are several forms gaslighting Common things that happen in a relationship include:

  • Underestimating the victim's emotions and accusing him of overreacting
  • Refuse the victim's invitation to discuss
  • Deny all the things the victim is accused of
  • Convincing others that the victim is a person who is easily confused, likes to make things up, and has difficulty remembering things
  • Divert the conversation when the victim raises a sensitive topic

Behavior gaslighting This can also be detected from several sentences that are often spoken by perpetrators, such as:

  • "You no know what you're talking about."
  • "You must be crazy. That's not really what happened."
  • "Just kidding. Don't be too sensitive, okay?"
  • “You are making it up too much.”

When the perpetrator gaslighting uttering these few sentences, the victim may feel confused and wonder what is wrong with him. Not only that, the victim can also show signs that are out of the ordinary, such as:

  • Apologize often
  • Feeling anxious and lacking confidence
  • Feeling that something is wrong, but can't identify the error
  • Feeling himself too sensitive
  • Become a different person from before
  • Feeling isolated from those closest to you, such as friends and family
  • Feeling increasingly difficult to make decisions
  • Do not want to give information about their partner to family members and close friends
  • Defending the partner who became the perpetrator gaslighting

From the signs above, the perpetrator gaslighting appears to have complete control over the victim's behavior and feelings. This condition makes the victim unable to determine what to do and depends on the perpetrator.

How to Handle Gaslighting

No need to blame yourself when someone does gaslighting to you, because the culprit is indeed doing manipulation with the aim of making you feel guilty.

If you become a victim gaslighting, there are several ways you can do to deal with it, namely:

1. Recognize the behavior as gaslighting

For some people, acts of manipulation carried out by perpetrators are often not realized as a form of gaslighting. Therefore, you should be wary if someone consistently manipulates and makes you doubt yourself and even has a negative impact on your self-esteem.

2. Collect evidence of interactions with perpetrators

To help you keep track of what really happened, try to document all interactions with the perpetrator. When he starts to deny the conversation or events that have taken place, you can point out the truth.

3. Create boundaries

Make clear boundaries between you and the perpetrator. This can be done by limiting the conversation or walking away when the abuser starts to make you feel doubtful and anxious.

4. Don't be afraid to talk

Perpetrator gaslighting often uses lies, negative criticism, and insults to manipulate their victims. Therefore, if the perpetrator starts acting up, don't be afraid to speak up or come clean. This will make him feel cornered and eventually leave you.

5. Avoid arguing

Perpetrator gaslighting will always try to make the victim feel guilty. If you're constantly trying to prove that you're right and he's wrong, this can be very frustrating. Therefore, as much as possible avoid arguments and stay away from the perpetrators gaslighting.

6. Love yourself

Behavior gaslighting It can be physically and mentally draining for you. In fact, research shows that gaslighting can have a negative impact on the health of the body and increase the victim's risk of developing PTSD.

Therefore, reduce stress due to gaslighting by loving yourself. For example, by doing activities or hobbies that you like, such as gardening, traveling, or perform body treatments.

Regardless of it all, always remember that you are not at fault in anything in the relationship gaslighting. You are also not responsible for changing everything that has been done by the perpetrator gaslighting.

Don't feel alone, because you can tell the people closest to you about the problems you are facing. On the other hand, if you know someone close to you is a victim gaslighting, try to embrace it and be a good listener.

If gaslighting what you are experiencing has a negative impact on your emotional health and reduces your daily productivity, immediately consult a psychologist or psychiatrist to get the right treatment.