Experiencing failure in marriage makes most people hesitant to remarry after a divorce. In fact, by knowing the best time to open up, the fear of a new relationship can be more easily overcome.
Divorce affects everyone differently. Some people may need a long time to adjust or remarry after a divorce.
Various emotional upheavals experienced after a divorce also sometimes make a person more vulnerable to certain conditions, such as stress, trauma, or depression. However, there are actually many things you can do to make it easier for you to get through that situation and be better prepared for a new relationship.
Before Marrying Again After Divorce, Do This
Here are some things you should work on before starting a new relationship again:
Focus on your own feelings
After a divorce, some people may take a long time to start a new relationship, while others may take it sooner. Don't be swayed if your partner is easy to find new people, because actually the recovery time for each person's feelings is different.
Instead, just focus on how you feel right now. Give a little time to grieve, but don't be too long. Calm your mind, introspect yourself, and rebuild your identity, so that you can be better prepared to start a relationship and choose a new partner wisely, so that failure does not happen again.
Don't remember the past
If you are still thinking about the mistakes that your partner made or the mistakes you made, it could be that you are not ready to start a new relationship.
Not a few newly divorced people remarry immediately, just to make their ex-spouse jealous or to channel disappointment or even unresolved guilt from a previous relationship. This relationship is usually referred to as rebound relationship.
Accept the current state
Don't think too much about your status after a divorce. This often makes someone want to get a new partner just because they don't want status single and want to drive away loneliness. Instead of being busy lamenting your status, make this your opportunity to improve yourself and learn new things.
Tips for Building a New Relationship After Divorce
When you are sufficiently prepared to start a new relationship, here are tips you can do to minimize the risk of repeating failure:
Establish good communication with ex-spouse
According to a study, people who are on good terms with their ex-partners are more likely to forget the past. Building good communication with your ex is indirectly a medium for forgiving your ex. That way, when you are in a new relationship, you are no longer haunted by the past.
Explain to children
Divorce can certainly have an impact on children, especially if children see their parents in pairs with other people. Not to mention, there is an assumption that stepparents will not give love like biological parents.
It's perfectly normal for your child to not accept that you're dealing with other people. If this happens, try to talk to him. Continue to prioritize the emotional stability of children and give special time to fill your togetherness. Even if you're in a new relationship, make sure you don't spend less time with your kids.
Establish a relationship with a compatible partner
If with your previous partner you found a lot of incompatibility because of your opposing ideas and thought patterns, this time establish a relationship with someone who can accept and agree with your way of life and outlook on life.
Divorce can cause a lot of "scars" in a person's life. However, don't see this as a failure, but a lesson. It could be that divorce is a paved the way to a happier life, both alone and with a better partner.
Make sure you have really considered the things above and are ready for a new relationship. If you still feel this is hard to do, try to consult a psychologist to be better prepared for a new relationship.